Do you ever have so much to say about something that you just don’t even know where to begin? That is me, currently, trying to figure out where this novel went wrong and was anything ever “right” with it. I guess I’ll start by saying Stuff Your Kindle Day is cursed and nothing good ever comes from it. Okay, let’s get into it.
The Sheild and Axe by MK Robert is a Viking saga and I probably should’ve known this book was something else by the (what feels like) incomplete title. Elwyna is a Saxon woman whose future has been decided for her. She’s a bargaining chip between the Saxons and the Norsemen as her father carts her off to be married to one of them in exchange for peace between the two groups of men. But the Norsemen are different from the Saxons; they respect women and the bathe (I swear the fact that they bathe is a big point of superiority throughout the whole book). They send Elwyna back to her home until her 18th birthday when she’ll return and choose a man to marry. Upon her return, she is drawn to the two men she thought of most during those years apart. One is betrothed to another. The other is known not to be tied down. So, how will Elwyna choose who takes her hand while she is also training to fight and join the Norsemen as one of them?
I’ll say this, the prologue gave me promise. It was decently written and gave us a good insight into how different the Saxons and Norsemen are, plus using a woman as a bargaining chip definitely fits with the times. Truth be told, the first few chapters were good, too! Then it falls, and it falls hard. I’ll start off with the fact that I do not know much about Vikings; this author seems to know even less and it was extremely obvious. You would think a lot of research into Viking culture and norms would’ve gone into this book, but no. After research of my own, it seems that Ms.Robert made her own Viking world with its own little history separate from the real world. Problematic? You decide.
Now, let’s talk about our main characters. In the many ways that I could describe Elwyna, I’ll opt to say this: She is the perfect example of a Mary Sue. If you're not sure what a Mary Sue is, it’s a female character often portrayed as having no flaws, in other words, a perfect person. From the start of the novel she’s set up as this bland girl, made that way from the abuse she endured as a child. I hoped that she would change throughout the novel, but, no, she remains bland and lacks personality completely and only acts as a vessel for the author to write spicy moments. It’s actually very frustrating how little there is both to her character and to the novel itself. I mean there is absolutely no plot within these pages. It’s a classic example of smut > good writing/plot. There seems to be an influx of people currently who prefer reading raunchy scenes just to read raunchy scenes and then say they’re big into reading, which I guess in technicality they are, but not in the same way I am. It leads to big disappointments and experiences like this. I was so excited to jump into this and immerse myself in a Viking story, something I hadn’t read before. But instead, I got chapters and chapters worth of poorly written smut that happens at the most awkward of times (which oddly seems to be a theme in these popular novels).
Back to our main characters. There are two main love interests in this book: Thorsten, the son of the Jarl, and Trygve, his best friend and sometimes lover. The problem with these two characters is the fact that the author can’t keep them straight. There is contradiction after contradiction over their personalities and you can’t seem to keep track of who is supposed to be who! For example, at one point in the novel Trygve claims that Thorsen is the one who is hotheaded and is quick to jump, while he is the quiet thinker who comes up with the plan. A few pages later, Trygve claims he’s always been the hothead, and Thorsen’s thoughtful approach has helped keep them out of trouble at times. So which is it? Who is who? Not to keep repeating myself but it just seems two male love interests were added purely for the author to be able to write MFM and MM love scenes.
Considering the poor writing and the fact that this novel doesn’t even seem to have been proofread– literally, at one point there is an italicized Norwegian word for dear– I’ll have to give this one a SKIP. This was a mind-numbing read that left me in the biggest reading slump of the year. If you’re looking for a historically inaccurate story filled with pages of bad smut and repetitive dialogue, then, by all means, be my guest. But, if you’re like me and that’s not your vibe, do yourself a favor and pretend you never heard of this book in the first place.
Xx,
Wednesday
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